Recovery and Self Certainty
by The Other
Summary: "I know that you think you're fat and I know that you think you're not worthy of things, but it's not true. Don't take this the wrong way...but...you're really good looking." Trigger Warning: Self Harm, Bulima, Anorexia.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: Alright, another bit of 'A Collection of Klaine' put into actual chapters. Alright everyone, so nobody gets confused - this is my story. I haven't stolen it. It was originally in my large collection, and I've just changed where it lives. _**

**_Trigger Warning. Cutting and Anorexia, and Bulima. _**

* * *

Being alone was one of the worst things Blaine Anderson could imagine going through. But it's not like he had to imagine hard. He was virtually alone anyway.

He'd been through a lot – his father had made sure of that – but nothing could really compare to this. Sitting in the ward, alone, the white light burning behind his eyelids – it was a fate worse than death.

He'd been there for two weeks now, and he'd seen the variety of people that walked through its hallways.

There were the Suicidals – like himself – who were here because they sought out the one thing that would bring them true satisfaction – true escape from the hell they walked upon.

Then came the Anorexics – they were the thin, ghosts of people that walked around with sunken eyes, arms clutched around their mid-sections, hoping – praying - that they'd lost weight.

Then the Emotionally Distraught – those who'd suffered from abuse – the ones who were there because a mental institution was the one place they were guaranteed safety.

And then there were the few who were there because they just _didn't_ fit in with society...and they were the ones that seemed to need the most help. They walked around like there was nothing wrong, but their cries at night seemed to say otherwise.

Blaine hated night-time the most. The wards weren't sound-proof and the walls were very thin, and it was _so _hard to ignore the stifled sobbing of those around him. Their cries haunted him and taunted him – they all beckoned for a release nobody was willing to give – a happy life.

To top it all off, Blaine had nobody to talk to.

The nurses were nice – but only when you took your meds and vacated your room at the right time. When you were stubborn, they were bitches on steroids. The others – the variety of people that had accumulated in his ward – were all at least three or four years older than he was.

Nobody talked to him – nobody _really_ talked anyway – but he hadn't spoken since he got there – not in private therapy, not in group. For someone like Blaine – a singer, songwriter, artist and musician – that was a giant feat.

But he couldn't talk – not here – not with so many secrets he had to hide. He was certain that everyone knew his secrets already, but that meant nothing. Admitting it out loud made it far more real, and there was no way Blaine could handle that. Not yet. Not when he was _certain_ he was one of the youngest. Sometimes he thought he might talk if there was someone around his age – with all of these older kids, Blaine just felt inadequate – like his problems were worth nothing next to theirs, because they were practically adults, while he was still this child.

Until that night.

It was late – around the time people stopped crying and actually made an effort to sleep – when a dim torch light shined into his ward.

There'd been an empty bed in his ward for a while now – directly opposite to Blaine's bed, the person who had vacated it having moved back home. Now, a roller bed was being moved in, and a boy about Blaine's age was lying in it – attached to a drip and a few other monitors.

In the dim light, Blaine could only assume he was one of the Anorexic's – according to his monitors - but he knew it was far too early to determine. He closed his eyes as the torch swept over him, feigning sleep.

"Go to sleep Blaine." His favourite nurse – Jessie – said gently. "You can meet him in the morning."

^.^

Blaine woke at dawn. This was one of the only times he liked – the air was crisp and clean – even in the ward, and the pale lights shined softly in through the window. He slipped from his bed, pulling back his curtain and finding the boy from last night still asleep – his curtain not having been drawn.

He was little, and as Blaine suspected, was an Anorexic. His ribs and arms protruded from his body even through the sheets, and his gaunt face seemed at unease, even while he slept. Blaine immediately felt sorry for the boy – yes, Blaine's life was inadequate, but to hate your own body – your own mindset - was a different matter. Blaine's one escape _was_ his mindset – he couldn't imagine being that trapped.

He wanted to help him.

But he couldn't. He couldn't speak to him – he couldn't do anything, because Blaine _knew_ it was hard to get people to understand. Why should this be any different?

But then again, having someone to talk to would be nice – Jessie was great to listen to, but she was still five years older than him, and she was still a nurse.

Blaine shook his head and continued to the bathroom. It was so complicated.

If he talked to the boy, what if he opened up? What would he do then? He was still running from his own demons, and to have to deal with ones that weren't his own – could he cope?

He stopped, glancing back at the boy and letting a smile escape his lips.

It couldn't hurt to try.

^.^

When Blaine returned from his shower, the boy was awake – silently crying. People were unashamed here. If they needed to cry, they did. They let it go and they didn't care who heard. But not Blaine, and not this boy.

Blaine swallowed hard, gathering his courage, and lifted his hand, wiggling his fingers slightly in a wave.

The boy watched Blaine steadily, his chin quivering slightly before nodding in reply.

Blaine supposed now was as great a time as any, so he stepped forward.

"Hi." He whispered, his voice catching slightly from the lack of use. "I'm Blaine."

"K-Kurt." The other boy stuttered, wiping at his face and grimacing as the movement pulled at the drip in his arm.

"Do you mind if I sit?" Blaine asked, nodding to the end of the bed.

Kurt shook his head slightly, and Blaine sat – and they sat there awkwardly for a little while.

"Kurt." Blaine finally said, tasting the word on his tongue, grinning. "That's a pretty cool name."

Kurt bit his lip and nodded slightly, his eyes closing.

"You've only just come out of hospital...haven't you?" Blaine asked, and Kurt nodded again. Blaine bit his lip, afraid he was pushing the other boy too far. "Sorry...I'll..."

He quickly climbed off the bed.

"Blaine!" Kurt said, his voice ringing out loud and clear for the first time. "Please...don't leave."

Blaine bit his lip, settling back on the end of the bed.

"So…um…there isn't really a lot to do around here." Blaine said, breaking the silence and trying to welcome him to the ward. "We mostly entertain ourselves unless we need to go to group or we have private therapy."

It was then that a nurse entered the section, interrupting their conversation and shooing Blaine back to his bed, so they could feed Kurt. Blaine pouted, waving to Kurt as he slid off the bed and hurried back across the room.

"Seeya soon!" Blaine called.

The last he saw of Kurt was the other boy's arms folded across his chest, glaring at the nurse.

Jessie was standing at his bed, eyes wide. "You're talking now?"

He grinned, hopping back up onto his bed. "Apparently."

She looked offended. "If I had known all it took was a pretty boy to sleep across from you, I would've given up on talking to you and found you someone sooner."

Blaine shook his head, ignoring her 'pretty boy' comment, a blush rising to his cheeks. _So_ _she knew?_

"That's why you're my favourite, Jessie." He grinned. "You never stopped talking to me, even when I didn't reply. You actually treated me like a normal person."

She smiled. "You are normal, Blaine. You just got put in a bad situation."

^.^

Kurt was still confined to his bed – only allowed up for the bathroom. Otherwise he was strapped down with the IV firmly in his arm. He was receiving private therapy – Dr Miles would come to his section when everyone went for group therapy. Blaine had private therapy just after lunch, and then would go to group after dinner.

Kurt didn't actually mind being strapped all that much – he was tired a lot – and it gave him an excuse to sleep.

Blaine visited him after breakfast – then again after lunch. He was quickly growing fond of the other boy, and he could tell Kurt was getting to like him as well. In barely a day, they had already become friends.

"So...what are you in here for...?" Kurt had asked on the second day, and Blaine shot him a suspicious look.

"What are _you_ in here for?"

Kurt recoiled and Blaine nodded. "Look...we're friends, Kurt...but until you can share your demons...I'm not willing to share mine."

Kurt nodded slightly, and the smile floated back to Blaine's face. "How much have you heard about this place?"

Kurt shrugged. "It's for people who are mentally unsound. At their weakest point. Crazy."

"Are you crazy?"

Kurt hesitated. "Still working that one out…Are you crazy?"

Blaine grinned. "Yeah. A little."

^.^

Over the next few days, Blaine entertained Kurt – both of them ignoring the other, older patients in the ward. They told jokes, shared stories, and spent a lot of time asking questions of each other. Nothing strayed too close to home though – anything leading up to why either of them was there was quickly avoided.

But Blaine _knew._He'd seen every anorexia patient who had ever come through, and he _knew_ that _that_ was the reason Kurt was there. He had the IV full of fluids alongside the meals he had to eat to get his strength back up and the weight back on. His wrists were strapped to the bed so he couldn't shove them down his throat.

The symptoms were all there – now he just had to get Kurt to admit it.

But Kurt had a secret too. He _knew_why Blaine was there. He'd seen the bandages – they protruded from his clothes like large boulders, and sometimes his pyjama's would ride up and he would catch the full extent of them. He didn't know why – only that under those bandages were scars – cuts, burns, scratches and bruises – and now he was just waiting for Blaine to tell him.

But the biggest problem was waiting to see who would crack first.

Because Kurt was pretty damn sure that Blaine knew his problem.

And Blaine was almost certain that Kurt knew his problem too.


	2. Chapter 2

"Jessie." Blaine called as the nurse made her rounds.

The redhead came over, a warm smile on her face. He was sitting at the edge of Kurt's bed – like usual.

"Yes Blaine?"

"Do you think you could get Kurt unstrapped?"

Kurt looked wide-eyed at his sudden question.

"Blaine...Kurt's strapped for a reason." She said gently.

"Just for like...half an hour. So we can go into the courtyard. And you can be there the whole time..." He pleaded, looking up at her wide eyes.

She hesitated, chewing her lower lip ever so slightly. "I'll be back."

Blaine grinned triumphantly, waiting until she was out of the room before turning back to Kurt. "You'll be unstrapped today. Jessie can charm the pants off the head doctor. She told me so herself."

Kurt looked alarmed. "She _told_ you that?"

"Well...she was telling someone else. But I heard it. That's kind of like the same thing," he laughed.

Kurt chuckled. "What's so special about the courtyard?"

Blaine's eyes lit up, and he took a deep breath. "The courtyard...is...like, the only good looking thing in this stupid place. There's flowers, and the garden, and stones..." he grinned. "It's beautiful."

Kurt was grinning too. "It sounds amazing."

Jessie returned, a grin on her face. "Alright. You've got an hour and a half."

Kurt's eyes lit up and Blaine whooped. She worked on Kurt's restraints and he sat up properly, pulling her into a hug.

"Thank you."

She smiled, helping him up. "No worries.

Blaine's eyes lit up. "Does this mean I can have my guitar, too?"

Jessie faltered, before coming to a decision and nodding. "I'll go get it. Stay here."

Both boys nodded, and Blaine jumped onto Kurt's bed, his grin as wide as his face.

"You play guitar?" Kurt inquired, stretching slightly now he was free.

Blaine nodded eagerly. "I started playing when I was six."

Kurt's eyes widened. "So you can play properly?"

"Any song, if I have the chords." He said proudly, and Kurt grinned.

Jesse returned with Blaine's acoustic, and he stretched out for it, hugging it to his chest. "Capo?"

She passed the small black device over and he grinned, clamping it to the neck. "Thank you so much."

"No problem. Come on." She escorted them out, through the numerous halls.

Kurt looked around in wonder – this was the first time he'd been outside his room since they brought him in. It was white and scary and daunting, with wards _full_of people of all ages, and Blaine nudged him with a grin.

"Getting your first view of hell, eh?"

"It's too white to be hell." Kurt smiled slightly. "And too clean."

Blaine laughed, grinning as Jessie led them through another hall until they entered another large room – with glass doors lining the far wall, thick red curtains hiding the view to the outside world.

"Keep us hidden, don't you?" Blaine smirked, and Jessie smiled, pulling the two curtains away from each other.

Brilliant sunlight flooded the room and Kurt and Blaine both recoiled and hissed, covering their eyes. Jessie laughed, pulling the two doors open.

"An hour and a half." She repeated, pulling a chair outside.

Kurt and Blaine both bolted for the door, and a happy laugh escaped Blaine's lips. They were both bathed in sunlight and Blaine outstretched his arms, his face turned to the rays of sun. Kurt was struck by the pure beauty of the courtyard. It was everything Blaine had described – bright with flowers protruding from everywhere.

Kurt gave a happy sigh, before flopping onto his back in the grass. Blaine joined him a second later, starting to laugh again.

When they had calmed down, Kurt rolled onto his stomach, glancing at Blaine.

"How long have you been here?"

Blaine blinked a couple of times, before replying. "I got here about two weeks before you did."

Kurt nodded. "Do you know how long you'll be here?"

Blaine shrugged. "Until I get better, I suppose."

"Do you think you're sick, Blaine?" Jessie asked from the doorway, and Blaine looked up at her.

"That's what my therapist tells me." He said softly. "I'm...'mentally unstable and my thoughts are sick and polluted...and the only way I'm going to get better is if I clear my mind and make things better'."

"Have you been?" she asked.

Blaine shrugged. "I know what I need to be better. And it's not here."

"Then fake it." Kurt said softly, and Blaine glanced over at him.

"What?"

"Pretend you're better. Until they let you go – then seek what will actually make you better."

"And you're saying this in front of a nurse?" Blaine scoffed.

"I won't tell. I promise." She grinned.

"You're okay with this method?" Blaine asked incredulously.

"I think it's smart. Blaine...you've been here for two weeks. You started speaking only because of Kurt. Obviously this place isn't doing anything for you."

Kurt looked at Blaine, wide eyed. "You weren't speaking?"

Blaine was blushing again. "Didn't see the point."

Kurt bit his lip, a small grin lighting his features. Jessie gave a small chuckle and Blaine sighed, shaking his head awkwardly and raking a hand through his hair.

"So, play for me." Kurt broke the tension, and Blaine nodded, retrieving his guitar.

"What do you want to hear?"

"What can you play?"

Blaine let out a frustrated huff. "I'm sure that if you mention a song, I can at least figure it out if I don't know it."

"Hm. Okay...how about...Accidentally In Love?"

Blaine's eyes lit up. "Yeah, okay. Hold on."

He strummed a few of the chords, gently humming the melody, before nodding to himself.

"Okay. Sing with me?"

"You can sing too?"

Blaine nodded and grinned. "You?"

Kurt nodded wordlessly, sitting up as Blaine adjusted himself.

_So she said what's the problem, baby?_

_What's the problem, I don't know, well, maybe I'm in love._

Their eyes locked over the first verse, a blush rising to both their cheeks, but they kept singing. Jessie watched them, a small grin on her lips.

When they finished, she clapped.

"You play...really well." Kurt swallowed hard, picking at a few strands of grass.

"Thanks, you sing really well."

"Thanks."

They waited in silence for another couple of minutes, before Kurt rolled onto his back, closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath.

"Imakemyselfthrowup."

Blaine sat up. "What?"

"No. Lie down and don't look at me." Kurt panicked, and Blaine did as he was told. "I hate my body...the way I look...the way my arms sag...and the..."

"Kurt."

"No, shut up." He swallowed. "I _tried_ to diet. I really did. I lost five pounds...but it wasn't enough. So I started making myself throw up. And I got away with it for three months. But then my father found out. And they put me in here."

Blaine was silent, and Kurt opened his eyes again. "You can talk now."

"I cut myself. I couldn't take it anymore and I wanted to die. My father's a dickhead and my mother doesn't care. I was the only gay kid in my school that was out and I was getting picked on and beaten up. So I tried to kill myself, and I obviously failed, and I ended up here..."

Kurt swallowed and nodded, rolling over to face him. "Thank you."

"Thank _you."_

^.^

"I took your advice." Blaine said softly one day while perched on Kurt's bed.

"Hm?"

"Faking it."

Kurt looked up properly, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm talking to Dr. Miles now. Talking in group."

Kurt bit his lip. It had been a week since their outing to the courtyard. He was still strapped and only seeing a private therapist.

"Does that mean you'll be let out soon?"

Blaine nodded. "Dr. Miles says I'm 'improving considerably'...I should be out by like...the end of the week, hopefully." He noticed Kurt's sudden look of panic. "But I'll come visit you. _All_the time." He promised.

Kurt bit his lip and nodded, swallowing hard.

"_I'll_ sure miss you." Jessie said from the curtain, grinning.

"Jessie!" Blaine laughed, pulling her into a hug.

"I've got some good news." She hugged him back, and they both watched her expectantly. "Kurt's allowed to be unstrapped."

Kurt's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Really." She grinned. "You'll be attending group and your private therapy slot is changed to just before lunch."

"So they trust me now?"

Jessie nodded, grinning and moved forward to un-strap Kurt's restraints. Blaine grinned as Kurt sat up, stretching with an appreciative noise.

"Thank you." He whispered, and Jessie laughed.

"No worries. Be safe now."

When she left the room, Blaine's grin was wider. "This is awesome. Want to go for a walk?"

Kurt quirked an eyebrow. "What?"

"A walk."

"We're allowed out?"

Blaine nodded. "During the day, we can go wherever we want – provided we stay in the centre, of course."

Kurt's mouth dropped open. "Why didn't you go before?"

Blaine faltered, smiling slightly. "I didn't want you to be alone."

The corners of Kurt's mouth turned up slightly, and he stood up, almost shakily, but managed to keep his balance.

"Where to?"

Blaine grinned, holding out his hand. "Everywhere."

Kurt paused, glancing at his hand for a moment. He licked his lips, before he took Blaine's hand. Blaine grinned widely, pulling him out of his section and down the ward, ignoring the weird looks from the other patients.


	3. Chapter 3

"Blaine." Kurt whispered. "I don't want you to go."

Blaine blinked up at him, concern lacing his eyes. "Kurt...?"

"I don't want to be alone."

Guilt wracked his body. Kurt was being forced into the same position that Blaine had been in. Being alone.

"Kurt...I'm sorry..."

Kurt collected himself, swallowing hard and shaking his head. "No... _I'm_ sorry. That was selfish of me."

"It's not selfish to not want to be alone." Blaine gently stroked at his hand.

Kurt sucked in a breath. "You're leaving in two days."

"I'll come to visit every day - until school goes back."

"What are you going to do?"

Blaine sighed. "Not sure yet. They're making me go back to my parents."

Kurt's eyes widened. "Aren't they the problem?"

"Not according to the therapist."

Kurt sighed. "Are you going to be okay?"`

Blaine shrugged. "I'll find some way to make it."

Kurt sighed sadly, shuffling back. "It's almost my therapy time..."

Blaine took that as his cue to leave, and nodded. "See you after your session?"

^.^

Blaine entered his ward after his therapy session, confused to find Kurt's bed empty. He hopped on his own bed, kicking back and waiting.

Faint gagging noises made him freeze, and his eyes widened.

"Kurt!" he called, racing to the ward bathroom.

It was shut, and Blaine hammered on the door, his stomach dropping. "Kurt!"

There was a strangled cough and Blaine tried the door handle – there was no lock – bursting in to find Kurt hunched over the toilet seat.

"Oh my god...Kurt!" Blaine raced forward, grabbing Kurt and pulling him away from the toilet.

Thankfully, he had finished throwing up, and sobs wracked his body.

"I'm sorry." he cried. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I had to."

Blaine let go of Kurt, backing up a few steps.

"I thought... I thought you were getting better." he said softly, flushing the toilet without looking and wetting a couple of paper towels, using them to wipe Kurt's face and hands, focusing on nothing but hiding the evidence, _knowing_ how much trouble they'd get into.

Kurt was shaking, leaning into his touch as he tried to quiet his sobs.

Blaine sighed, grabbing his hands.

"Come on, the nurses will be looking for us soon."

Kurt nodded, standing slowly as Blaine binned the paper towels.

Kurt's face was red as Blaine led him back to his section of the ward, silently sitting them both down.

"Blaine..." Kurt whispered.

"I thought you were better than this." He bit, and Kurt instantly recoiled.

"Blaine...I'm sorry..."

"No, shut the _fuck_ up, Kurt We were getting better – we were getting through this and then you went and..." he gestured towards the bathroom, tears pooling in his eyes. "You're now back at day one. Fucking day one." He was shouting now, and all Kurt could do was cry, staring at his hands. "I thought..."

"Blaine, I'm sorry, I just..."

"What, you _needed_ to? Is that it? Because the last _fucking_ time-"

"Blaine!" Jessie barked from the curtain, her eyebrows furrowed.

Blaine froze, whipping around. Kurt was sobbing loudly, and she grabbed Blaine's arm, ripping him up from the bed and pulling him into his section of the ward as another nurse hurried in to comfort Kurt.

"What happened?" she hissed, pushing Blaine onto his bed and drawing the curtain.

Blaine was fuming. "Nothing. Just an argument."

"You were swearing at him."

"It was an argument." He growled, turning away from her.

She heaved a sigh. "Pretty bad argument?"

He nodded.

"What was it about?"

"Something stupid." Blaine muttered.

She sighed heavily. "Right. Well, you're confined to your section until dinner."

Blaine rolled onto his stomach, burying his face into the pillow as Jesse left.

He could still hear Kurt's sobs as Jessie and the second nurse tried to help him.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" he sobbed, trying to calm himself down.

"What did he say to you?" Jessie asked gently, sitting on his bed.

Kurt shook his head, looking away. "Nothing important."

"Are you going to be okay?" the other nurse said kindly.

Kurt nodded, hiccoughing slightly.

"If you need to talk, just call us, okay?" Jessie asked and Kurt nodded.

"Thanks."

They left, drawing his curtain, and Kurt burst into a fresh set of tears, silently crying into his pillow.

Blaine could hear his sobs from his section, tugging his blanket up over his ears to block out the sound.

Finally, he calmed down and started thinking logically. Yes, Kurt had just pretty much taken himself back to the beginning of his recovery, but it was probably because he was starting to stress out – because _he_ was leaving. Kurt didn't want to be alone – almost as much as Blaine didn't want to go home, but he knew he had to, just like Kurt knew he didn't really have an option.

Blaine sighed. It was too confusing.

Dinner came and when he'd finished eating, Jessie came to speak with him.

"Care to tell me what happened?"

"It was just a stupid fight. I'm stressed because I'm leaving, and he's stressed because he's going to be alone." he took her hand gently. "Jessie, can I ask you something?"

She nodded, watching him carefully.

"Please look after him - the way you looked after me. I'll come and visit every day...but when I'm not here-"

"Of course." Jessie smiled. "Of course I will."

"I think I'm going to go apologise now."

"Good idea Blaine. I'll give you some privacy."

Blaine nodded as she left, and he took a breath, trying to gather his thoughts. He left his section, stepping hesitantly into Kurt's.

"Kurt...?"

He was upright in a ball, knees to his chest, his dinner untouched as he glared at it.

"Please Blaine. Leave me alone."

"Kurt...I'm sorry." Blaine whispered, stepping further into his section. "I was being stupid...I didn't think of what this could do to you. I know what being alone in a place like this is like..."

"Stop." Kurt bit. "You're leaving, and it doesn't matter. I'll be fine."

"No you won't." Blaine said gently. "And so I'll come back every day...and Jessie will look after you too."

Kurt stared at him sadly - he just wanted to be alone - and yet Blaine's presence was somewhat comforting. He couldn't decide what he wanted.

Blaine moved around and grabbed his dinner tray, sitting cross-legged on the edge of his bed, almost invading Kurt's personal bubble. He forked a piece of meat, holding it up to Kurt's mouth.

"Open."

"Not hungry." Kurt muttered.

"They'll find your plate still full...and they'll strap you down again."

"You eat it then."

Blaine let out an exasperated sigh. "Kurt..._please?_ For me?"

Kurt hesitated, and his eyes quickly flicked to his own stomach. It only took a second, but Blaine caught it.

"Kurt...you don't need to diet. I know that you think you're fat and I know that you think you're not worthy of things, but it's not true. I mean...if you hate the way your arms look, do some weight lifting, but I don't even think you need to. You haven't got a single ounce of fat on you. You're..." Blaine blushed slightly, knowing he was rambling. "Don't take this the wrong way...but...you're _really_good looking. I don't understand why you don't have a girlfriend."

Kurt bit his lip slightly, a shy smile flicking across his face. "I'm gay too."

Blaine's posture straightened, his eyes brightening, his face reddening and his lips turning upwards despite his attempts to keep his face neutral. "Oh."

"I...uh...I'm out...but there's nobody at my school like me." Kurt said softly, and Blaine nodded in understanding.

There was an uneasy silence, and Blaine mentally cringed. He'd just told his best friend that he was good looking. Because he thought he was straight - but he _was_ really cute and hot and amazing, but Blaine was under the impression that he was _straight_and that meant that his feelings didn't matter… but now...

He shook his head to clear it, giving Kurt a small grin, and waggled the fork in his face again.

"So...please?"

Kurt hesitated again, taking a long moment to search Blaine's eyes - finding the true genuine concern. Blaine had just said that he was _good-looking_! Nobody had ever complimented him like that before. Nobody had ever even shown an interest in him...and Blaine wasn't that bad looking himself.

Finally, he opened his mouth, and Blaine grinned triumphantly, shoving the fork forwards. Blaine continued to feed him - neither of them seemed to mind that it was a _little_ weird. Blaine was happy Kurt was eating, and Kurt was happy - for the moment.

As Kurt ate more of his meal, he got sleepier, exhausted from his long afternoon, and his eyes started closing. Blaine smiled fondly, pushing him back until he laid down with a sleepy murmur. Setting Kurt's plate on his bedside table, Blaine tucked the blankets up over the other boy, creeping back to his bed.

Tomorrow was his last day, and he had to make sure Kurt wouldn't feel abandoned.

^.^

Blaine swept back the curtain to Kurt's room, where he was halfway done with pulling a shirt on.

"Blaine!" he scolded, his eyes wide and a warm blush spreading from his cheeks to halfway down his chest.

"Oh god, I'm sorry!" Blaine giggled awkwardly, looking away slightly, biting his lip.

Kurt inhaled slightly and pulled his shirt on properly, awkwardly tugging it down. "So..."

"Courtyard time!" Blaine grinned.

Kurt's eyes widened. "Really?"

Blaine nodded. "Today is going to be special."

Jessie appeared next to Blaine – his guitar and capo in her hands. Kurt's eyes lit up, scrambling off the bed. The three of them headed down the hallways to the glass-windowed room, before stepping outside into the welcoming courtyard.

Kurt grinned widely. He was so _glad_ to be back – the hospital was so crappy and draining and dark and lifeless, while outside it was happy and light and friendly. Kurt grinned again.

"Thank you." He smiled, and Blaine beckoned him to sit on the grass.

"I made you something."

Kurt was stunned, his head tilting. "What?"

Blaine grinned. "To remember me by – even though I'm coming back all the time."

Kurt blinked. "I don't…"

Blaine started playing his guitar, drowning out anything Kurt was about to say.

_Look in the mirror, what do you see?  
You're eighty pounds fatter, but as skinny as can be.  
Stop counting calories – stop throwing up.  
We'll be together and it won't hurt so much.  
Life will get easier, just wait and see.  
The hard part's over now, take it from me._

He let go of his guitar, showing his wrists, which were now bandage free and showed his discoloured scars.

_I look into your eyes – I can see you're unhappy.  
I look into your eyes – I can feel your pain.  
They say we'll be alright…  
They say it's just a phase…  
But you and I know it's deeper._

He cleared his throat, looking up at Kurt from under his eyelashes, a faint blush colouring his cheeks.

"It's not finished – it needs another verse…and a bridge, but it's…Kurt?"

He hadn't even realised Kurt was crying – hot tears dripped down his cheeks as Kurt stared at the ground, a quiet sob escaping his lips.

"Oh god…Kurt I'm so sorry…I just…I didn't mean to make you cry, I just thought…" Blaine abandoned his guitar, eyes wide and pleading as he grabbed Kurt's hand. "I'm sorry! Did I…"

He was cut off by the rough impact of Kurt's body slamming against his own, wrapping him in a tight – _tight –_hug.

"Thank you." Kurt breathed heavily, letting himself sob onto Blaine's shoulder. "Thank you so much. That…it's the nicest thing…anyone has _ever_ done for me…and…" Kurt rested on his knees, pulling away from Blaine slightly.

"You're welcome." Blaine whispered, staring into his wet eyes.

Kurt blinked slowly, his arms still around Blaine's neck, before leaning in and gently kissing him.

Eyes wide, Blaine kissed back gently. It was only a few seconds before both boys pulled back simultaneously, blushing deep crimson and giggling slightly.

"So…" Kurt started, not looking at Blaine.

Blaine bit his lip shyly, before picking up his guitar and playing a small tune. "Care to sing with me again?"

They spent as much time as they could together before Jessie made them go back inside – mostly just singing and laughing together – neither of them bringing up the kiss that they'd shared.

Back in the ward, they were forced into their individual sections – for therapy time – but Kurt didn't care. He was happy for once, despite knowing Blaine was leaving that afternoon.

Blaine had promised to come and say good bye before he left, so Kurt wasn't panicking - wasn't watching the clock or anything. He just...existed for once in his life, relaxing and staring dreamily up at the ceiling.


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt woke up to find the room dark, and Jessie was leaning over him.

"Hey." She said softly, gently shaking him awake.

"...hi?" Kurt yawned.

"You missed dinner, so I thought I'd come check on you. Are you hungry?"

Kurt didn't hear her question. Missed _dinner_? Then where was Blaine?

"Blaine?" he asked, sitting up.

"He's gone... His parents picked him up a couple of hours ago now..."

Jessie sat down as she noticed the expression on Kurt's face.

"I'm sorry, I thought you knew... Kurt? What's wrong?"

Kurt had crumpled back onto his side on the mattress, curling away from Jessie.

"He promised."

"Promised?"

"He didn't say good bye."

^.^

Kurt waited expectantly for Blaine's visit the next day, crying himself to sleep when Blaine didn't arrive, plagued with doubts – what were they now? Boyfriends? Still just friends?

He held onto the vain hope that maybe, just maybe Blaine would come tomorrow...

But he didn't.

^.^

Jessie came to visit him the next morning, worried that he would relapse.

"Kurt, what's wrong?"

"Blaine's not here. He promised he'd come back. But he didn't." Kurt whispered, curled into a ball on his bed.

Jessie faltered. She was more than a little concerned that Blaine hadn't returned.

"He's probably got a good reason for it, Kurt. I wouldn't worry." Jessie offered, but Kurt shook his head despondently.

It was on the fifth day that Jessie started to get really worried about him.

"Come on Kurt, you need to eat."

" 'm not hungry."

"Don't you want to get better so you can get out of here? Go home?"

"Not particularly." Kurt sniffed, and Jessie sighed, leaving him alone.

She'd try again at lunch.

^.^

Kurt moped for most of the day – barely even leaving his bed. Jessie came around to talk to him again at lunch time, warning him that if he didn't eat anything that they'd have to strap him down again, and hand feed him. He was _supposed_ to be focusing on his recovery, not moping over some boy he barely knew.

Kurt managed to choke down half of his meal after that. Her words had stung, because he _did_ want to get 'better' - mostly so he could go home - but he missed Blaine all the same.

By night time, he was another wreck – he hadn't been sleeping well and sleep deprivation had taken its toll.

He fell asleep early that night, tears streaking his face.

^.^

Blaine lay on his back, arms strapped to the sides of the bed, his eyes squeezed shut as he felt them move him through the halls, undoing the straps on his arms only to lift him onto another bed and strap him down again.

"You weren't supposed to have to come back." A familiar voice whispered, as blankets were pulled up over his still body, and Blaine screwed his eyes shut even tighter. Jessie sighed.

"Kurt will be glad to see you." She tried, and Blaine turned his head away, a tear making its way down his cheek. "He missed you…"

Blaine was crying properly now, and Jessie took pity on him, smoothing down his sheet, and making sure he was comfortable.

"Do you want me to stay until you go to sleep?" she asked gently, knowing how difficult the first night always was – especially on those who'd been here before.

Blaine said nothing – he just pushed his face into the pillow and continued to cry. Jessie let out a little sigh and sat with him – knowing full well he appreciated the company.

^.^

Kurt grumbled awake, blinking sleepily. It had been a full week, and Blaine had practically disappeared off the face of the planet. It was time to get over it, and start getting better.

He sat up and sighed, figuring he should get up for breakfast. That was what people-getting-better were supposed to do – right? With slow, lethargic movements, he changed into clothes that weren't his pyjama's, before pulling back his curtain.

He froze, noticing that the bed across from his – Blaine's old section – was curtained off. He sighed heavily – that meant a new roommate. Rubbing his face, he sighed again and headed outside his ward, waving half-heartedly at some of the other people. He didn't know them very well, but they did talk sometimes - mostly on their way to or from group.

The cafeteria was much the same as always – dull, quiet and sullen. Lining up, he got given his specific dietary requirement meal and sat at one of the tables with the others in his ward.

Everything this morning was bland – even the food.

"Kurt…" Jessie appeared next to him, and he looked at her sideways.

"Morning." Kurt said softly, picking at his food.

"Guess how long you've been here?"

Kurt closed one eye, glancing at the ceiling as if it would give him the answer. "Um…a little over two weeks?"

Jessie grinned. "Yep. You know what that means?"

"What?"

"In four days, your dad can start visiting."

Kurt swallowed hard. "Oh."

Jessie faltered. "You don't want your dad to visit?"

"It's not that." He whispered softly, scooting closer to her. "It's just…he's the one who found me. He's the one who noticed. He's the one who cared enough…or not enough…to put me here."

Jessie was silent, unsure of how to reply, but Kurt quickly gave her a reason not to, changing the subject.

"There's a new person in my ward."

A smile appeared on her lips. "Yeah."

"Can I go introduce myself?"

She smirked. "He's strapped down at the moment, but of course you can."

"What's his name?"

Jessie paused, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Maybe you should ask him."

^.^

Confused by Jessie's vague directions, Kurt wandered back through the ward to Blaine's old section. The curtain was half drawn – meaning no nurse was inside, and he braced himself. Whoever was in there might not be friendly – might not want company.

But then there was the slight chance that they did.

Kurt shuffled forward, grabbing the curtain and pulling it back a little. "Excuse me…"

He pulled the curtain back, and his eyes flicked to the figure on the bed.

His heart almost stopped.

"Blaine!"

Kurt forgot to remember why Blaine would be there. He forgot to look at his wrists – forgot to check if he was okay. He just launched himself at the boy he'd fallen in love with in a week, practically smothering him in a hug.

"Ow! Fuck, ow. Oh my god." Blaine cried, his body jerking as Kurt landed on pretty much every bruise on his body.

Kurt immediately jumped off him, happy tears pooling in his eyes. "I'm sorry! But…you're back."

Blaine didn't – couldn't – look at him, his gaze flicking once to the straps over his body, and then to the floor.

It was then, that Kurt realised.

Blaine's arms and legs were black and blue – his eye socket was starting to go yellow and purple. From what Kurt could see of his chest, it resembled the same colour. Kurt's eyes trailed to his arms – thick white bandages gleamed back at him, covering the bright red scratches that Kurt knew would be there.

"Blaine…"

"Please get out." He whispered, tears pooling in his eyes.

"No." Kurt said firmly.

Kurt wanted to cry. He forgot about being mad at Blaine – too confused and concerned to be mad. He could be mad later. What happened in the week that brought Blaine back to this spot? And where had those bruises come from?

"Please Kurt…just…I can't right now."

"I want you to." Kurt took his hand. "Can you talk to me?"

"Not now."

Kurt bit his lip, his gaze moving to the bandages again.

"Stop looking at me like that." Blaine bit, a sob escaping his lips. "Please, just…go…"

"Like what?"

"Like it's my fault. Because I _know_ it is, and I don't need you to fucking remind me."

Kurt recoiled, his eyes wide.

"Just get out. Please."

"Blaine…"

"Kurt, _please_."

With a small sigh, Kurt squeezed his hand once, before nodding and leaving – drawing the curtain behind him.

Jessie stood in the doorway of the ward, silently watching. She had a feeling it would play out like that – that Blaine would retreat into his shell again.

She just hoped Kurt would be able to pull him out quickly.


	5. Chapter 5

It was just after lunch that Kurt decided he should try talking to Blaine again. After seven days apart, it was _killing_ him, knowing that Blaine was _right_ there - and yet he couldn't talk to him, because _Blaine_ was being stubborn .

The nurse had left half an hour ago, and he crept into Blaine's section.

"Blaine?"

"Kurt…"

"Don't you dare tell me to go away, Blaine Anderson. You owe me an explanation."

"What?"

"You leave me. You don't call, write or drop in for seven days, and then you just appear. What's your angle?"

Blaine looked at him incredulously.

"Are you serious?" he muttered flatly.

Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"I come in here, bruised and with…with these fucking things, and the only thing you can think about is yourself?"

Kurt sniffed impatiently. "No. The only things I can think about is us. And you." He said boldly.

"Kurt, I am _broken_. There isn't an _us._There's me and there's you."

Kurt swallowed the hurt that was building in his chest.

"No. There's definitely an us. We kissed, if you hadn't realised. You don't just kiss someone and leave. Unless you're a whore. And I don't think you are, Blaine." He continued, realising he had digressed. "Anyway…Blaine…you've been the one thing on my mind since you left. And you think I'm not broken? Blaine…it's been _you_ that's stopped me from chucking my guts up each time I eat."

Blaine was silent, eating up his words and trying to figure out if he was telling the truth.

"I'm not."

Kurt blinked. "What?"

"I'm not a whore."

Kurt was silent for a few seconds, before he suddenly burst into peals of laughter. Blaine frowned, watching him. When he'd finally calmed down, he shot a quizzical look at Kurt.

"That was the only thing you got out of my rant?" Kurt asked, grinning.

Blaine managed a weak smile. "I…I was trying to let you know that it's not over between us."

Kurt bit his lip, his gaze on the floor, trying to keep a faint smile on his lips. "It didn't sound like that earlier."

Blaine shrugged. "I was pissed earlier."

"And you aren't now?"

Blaine shook his head sadly. "It's hard to be pissed when I talk to you."

Kurt let a smile escape his lips, taking Blaine's hand again. "What happened? Why are you back?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Blaine whispered.

Kurt paused. "Can you at least tell me why you didn't say goodbye?"

Blaine closed his eyes. "My dad. He didn't let me."

Kurt faltered. He didn't expect that. He was at least thinking it had something to do with _him._

"Why?"

Blaine turned his head to the side, his eyes trained on the floor. "He…isn't too comfortable with the fact that…I'm gay…and when he found out I wanted to say goodbye to a guy…he was…wasn't pleased."

Kurt took a moment – he was stunned, to say the least. Blaine's life at home – _any_ life at home had been steered clear of – it seemed irrelevant to know, but now…

"Blaine…did you give yourself these bruises?"

He was silent, tears making steady tracks down his face.

"Was it your dad?"

Blaine took a deep, shuddering breath – trying to compose himself before he could continue.

"Yeah. It was him."

Kurt's eyes widened, his eyes following the line of bruises before they disappeared under his clothes.

"Blaine…have you told the nurses?"

"They're not going to believe me." He bit. "I'm the suicidal dickhead that got released far too early."

"Well maybe if you explained the situation-"

"Kurt, I'm only nearly fifteen years old, and he's a grown up. Who do you think they'll believe?" he muttered flatly, and Kurt frowned.

"Blaine, it's not right! He can't just hurt you like-"

"He's been doing it since the day I told him I was gay."

Kurt was rendered speechless again.

"So your wrists…"

"Yeah. I did _them_ myself."

"Oh."

Kurt had to look at them again – he was compelled to those gleaming bandages.

"You're looking at me again."

"Yeah." Kurt whispered. "How did they find you?"

"School bathrooms."

Kurt frowned. "Why there?"

"I'm gay and was forced to do a holiday program at my public school, a course _full_ of homophobic dickheads, why the hell do you think Kurt?"

"Oh."

Blaine frowned. "I wasn't going to talk to you."

Kurt grinned. "I'm glad you find it hard to resist me."

Blaine shook his head, a small smile escaping his lips.

"Blaine... Didn't they ask where the bruises came from?"

"Yeah..."

"What did you tell them?"

"I...didn't. I couldn't. It just would have made things worse."

"But... if they _knew_, they wouldn't make you go back... You'd get put with a foster family or something, and it would go through the courts and-"

"Kurt, how is that _any_ better? What happens if my father _wins_ and I have to go back to live with him? Everything will just be so much worse."

"But Blaine..."

"Drop it Kurt."

Kurt gave a small sigh, playing with Blaine's fingers.

"You'd win though."

Blaine glared at him, and he _did_let it go. He could press Blaine about it later.

They fell silent again, as Kurt searched for something to say.

"Did you miss me?"

There was a weird silence, and Blaine let out a breath.

"You're the only thing that kept me alive." He whispered. "I thought about killing myself every time I got…every time my father hurt me…but then I thought about visiting you, and everything got a little better. But then…it just…it got too much."

Kurt swallowed hard, his mouth parted a little.

"Really?"

For the first time, Blaine squeezed back. "Really."

"Boys…" a tentative voice called from the curtain.

Jessie stepped in, and Blaine visibly withdrew, a hard expression flickering over his face.

"Hi." Kurt said, almost happily.

"I hate to interrupt, but Kurt, you'll be late for group if you don't hurry."

Kurt bit his lip. "Can't I…"

"Nope. Blaine's got a private session in a few minutes."

Kurt pouted slightly, glancing at Blaine. He was glaring at the floor – at his hands – anything that wasn't Jessie. He sighed, giving Blaine's hand another squeeze before standing up.

"I'll see you after therapy?"

Blaine gave the slightest of nods, but didn't say anything. Kurt and Jessie exchanged a confused glance before Kurt left, throwing Blaine a smile before he disappeared behind the curtain.

"Blaine…You'll be getting your regular therapist today…" Jessie straightened the bed sheets. "How are you feeling?"

Blaine glared at the ground.

"Are you going to talk to me?"

Jessie sighed when he didn't reply.

"Are you going to talk to Dr. Miles?"

Still no reply.

"Blaine…you'll be strapped down for longer if you don't talk. Remember – faking it? You can be as sad as you like on your own, but if you want to be here forever, keep on doing what you're doing."

"And what if I do want to stay here?"

Jessie frowned – glad he was talking, but trying not to react. "Blaine, nobody wants to stay here. _I_ don't even want to stay here sometimes."

"I do."

She sighed. "Why?"

"It's easier than being at home."

Jessie frowned, perching on the edge of his bed. "You know…we can't legally let you go if you aren't ready."

Blaine's head perked up. "What?"

"This place is all about mentality. We try and convince you that _you_ want to go home. That _you_ are ready to go home. But if you fight it, and convince us that you _aren't_ ready, then we can't let you go."

Blaine's eyes lit up. "Really?"

Jessie grinned. "I may be a nurse, but I'm only junior staff. I'm still your friend, Blaine."

He grinned easily – a genuine smile slipping through. "Thanks Jessie."

A knock on the door interrupted them, and Jessie grinned.

"Have fun!"


	6. Chapter 6

Kurt sighed, walking out of group feeling drained and unhappy. They always did this – he'd be fine, until they talked around the circle. Then he remained silent and would shake his head whenever it came to his turn – he still couldn't reveal his secrets. Saying it in front of a group of people was a lot harder than saying it to Blaine.

_Blaine._

He grinned, an immediate bounce in his step as he hurried back to their ward. Sadly, the curtain was still drawn – his therapist was still there – so he sat cross-legged at the end of his own bed and waited.

Ten minutes later, Dr. Miles emerged, looking grim-faced as always, and Kurt didn't wait to go in after him.

Blaine looked sour and drained, but his eyes lit up the moment he saw Kurt.

"Hi!" Kurt grinned, and Blaine managed a smile.

"Why are you so happy?"

Kurt shrugged. "Just am. How was therapy?"

"Apparently I'm not as emotionally traumatised as they would've thought."

Kurt's eyes lit up. "What does that mean?"

"It means they'll unstrap me sooner."

Kurt grinned. "That's good, at least." He hesitated. "Do you know when you're going home?"

Blaine let a small smile slip. "No…they haven't specified a release date."

Kurt visibly relaxed.

"How was group?"

"Dull, boring, emotional." He grinned. "The usual."

"Sounds rough. Are you speaking yet?"

Kurt shook his head. "I don't care if I'm in here forever. I'm not telling a bunch of strangers…_that. _I've told the nurses…and I've told you. That's enough."

"Maybe you should tell that to your private therapist…I mean-"

He was cut off by a loud yell, and they both froze, frowning. It was a man – he was angry – but he didn't sound like a patient. Kurt glanced at Blaine, who suddenly looked pale and scared, his eyes wide.

"Blaine?" Kurt whispered – the whole ward had fallen silent.

Blaine shook his head wordlessly, still frozen in place.

The yells increased in volume – whoever it was, was getting closer, and Blaine was starting to freak out.

"Blaine!" He was shaking, and Kurt grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly.

_"You have no right to keep me from seeing my son!"_

That was the only sentence they heard loud and clear, and Blaine stopped shaking for a split second.

Finally – _finally _– the screams and shouts stopped echoing throughout the halls, and the nurses visited each ward – reassuring the shaken patients.

Jessie quickly slipped into Blaine's section, she herself a little pale.

"Blaine, Blaine honey, are you okay?"

She grabbed his shoulders, forcing him to stop shaking and look at her.

"Hey, you're okay now, okay? Blaine." She snapped her fingers in his face, and his eyes refocused – something Kurt hadn't noticed. "Blaine, look at me. He's not going to hurt you. We sent him away."

Kurt was lost.

"What, who was that man?"

Jessie kept her eyes trained on Blaine, trying to calm him down enough that he would stop shaking.

"His father." She said softly and Kurt's mouth dropped open. "He wanted to see Blaine and get him out of here…he said it wasn't doing him any good. Stupid man…"

Kurt frowned. "So…wait…"

"It's okay. We know what he's done to Blaine. It's hard not to assume, and when he was taken to the hospital – both times- they ran a physical injury kit over him. The bruises are from his father – school kids, a couple we've identified."

"You didn't assume…he did it to himself?"

"It's hard to create hand-shaped bruises on your back, Kurt."

Kurt fell silent, nodding.

Blaine had calmed down slightly, his shaking less violent and his eyes coming back into full focus.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"He's gone into shock – very mildly, mind you, but he must've panicked so much…"

Kurt bit his lip, tears flooding to his eyes as he grabbed Blaine's hand and squeezed it.

"Blaine? Blaine, can you hear us?"

He gave the faintest of nods, his body still shaking slightly.

"Blaine…." Kurt whispered, squeezing his hand tighter.

Finally, the shakes stopped, with gentle reassurances from Jessie and Kurt.

"It's okay Blaine. You're not going home to that any time soon." Jessie whispered.

Kurt paused. "Where would he go?"

"Foster care." Jessie said softly, but Blaine shook his head.

"I don't want to." He said softly. "Not foster care. Please…"

Jessie sighed. "When you get better, we don't really have an option until you're eighteen."

"I won't get better then."

"Three years is a long time to be stuck here Blaine."

"Three years is easy." He muttered darkly, and Kurt squeezed his hand again.

"Blaine…maybe foster care is the only option…"

Blaine closed his eyes. "I don't want to talk about this now." He grumbled.

"Blaine…"

"I'm tired."

Jessie sighed. "Alright. Well, you'll be allowed to get unstrapped tomorrow…we'll come over in the morning."

Kurt frowned. "Come on, I was strapped for days!"

Jessie laughed. "We have no sharp implements in this facility – if someone tries to harm themselves, it's a great deal harder than just skipping meals or throwing them up."

"Oh." Kurt muttered, frowning. "Right."

Blaine looked a little happier, but he gave a giant fake yawn. "So tired."

Kurt stifled a laugh and squeezed his hand one more time before standing, but Blaine tugged his hand.

"Uh…I'm not…_that _tired. You could stay for a bit…"

Jessie laughed. "I can see when I'm not wanted. Lights out at ten, remember. Kurt, that means in your own bed. Not in here."

Kurt flushed before he laughed sweetly. "Yes Jessie."

"Thanks Jessie." Blaine said softly and she gave him a fond smile, before leaving them in peace.

Blaine let out a sigh, a genuine yawn escaping his lips.

"I can go." Kurt said softly.

"I don't want you to."

Kurt took a deep breath. "Blaine…what's going on…with us?"

Blaine recoiled. "Uhm…"

"Look, I know…I know we're both in a weird place…"

Blaine snorted. "Mental asylum."

"_Weird place._" Kurt corrected. "And there's …things going on…but are we something?"

Blaine paused, and Kurt's heart sunk. He sighed, but Blaine squeezed his hand.

"I really like you Kurt."

"But…?"

"But we're in a mental asylum for troubled teenagers. It's not quite…the greatest place to establish a relationship. But…when we both get out, we'll see where we are, and we'll stay in contact. And we'll get together."

Kurt laughed. "Okay. I like that plan."

"Good. Me too."

^.^

Kurt woke up to something landing on his bed, and he frowned, his eyes opening slowly. Blaine smiled slightly at him from the end of the bed.

"Morning." He said softly, and Kurt raised an eyebrow, yawning slightly as he sat up.

"You okay?"

Blaine gave him a quizzical look.

"You don't normally wake me up at…" he squinted at the clock. "Seven in the morning."

Blaine shrugged sadly. "I'm…feeling a little…" he shrugged again. "Sad…and sore…"

Kurt bit his lip. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Not sure."

"Wanna sing?"

Blaine grinned, nodding, and scooting so he could scramble under the blanket. They sat cross-legged, facing each other, with Kurt's iPod between them. It was still early, so they kept their voices down.

They'd gotten through at least five songs before Kurt's stomach growled at him.

"Breakfast time!" he grinned, and Blaine laughed.

"What?"

"Ever since I started…eating properly," Kurt grinned. "My stomach has decided that meals are going to be a regular thing. At precise times."

Blaine shook his head, a grin escaping his lips. "I guess it's time for breakfast then."

They both hopped off the bed, and Kurt quickly folded his sheets before closing his curtain. They exited the ward together, bright and happy, and Blaine was even so bold as to grab Kurt's hand.

But Kurt froze, his hand jerking away.

"If we're going to wait until we get out…then we need to wait, until we get out." He said softly, and Blaine paused before nodding.

"Yeah. You're right…I'm sorry."

Kurt bit his lip and nudged his shoulder playfully. "Come on…we have to get there before all the good bacon strips are gone."


	7. Chapter 7

So it was a tiny bit awkward. They avoided touching – because it could lead to something – so when they did, it was playful nudges or poking in the side. But they were still close – the best of friends. Blaine was slightly clingy that day, constantly wanted to be with Kurt or Jessie, unable to deal with the thoughts that came when he was left on his own.

But Kurt really didn't mind. They sat together on one of the beds in between therapy and meal times, talking, or laughing or even singing.

Jessie interrupted them just before dinner.

"Kurt, can I talk to you for a second?"

Kurt and Blaine exchanged worried glances, before he stood up and headed to Jessie. She led him out of earshot.

"You father called."

Kurt's eyes lit up.

"He wants to come by tomorrow." Kurt grinned. "Are you okay with that?"

"Absolutely." Kurt laughed.

Jessie gave him a long look. "You sure?"

He nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?"

She shrugged, but Kurt could see she was hiding something.

"Alright. He'll be here at about eight – I'll come get you?"

Kurt nodded. "Where?"

"Do you want to talk in the courtyard?"

Kurt nodded eagerly. "Yes please."

Jessie nodded. "Alright, I'll probably come get you after breakfast."

"Thanks Jessie."

He returned to the bed they were sharing, and Blaine looked confused. "What was that about? Is everything okay?"

Kurt grinned. "Yeah. Everything is perfect. My dad is coming to visit tomorrow."

Blaine blanched. "Oh."

Kurt didn't notice his drop in attitude, climbing back onto the bed and sitting next to him.

"Kurt…" Blaine whispered.

"Yeah?"

"What's your dad like?"

Kurt laughed. "He's amazing."

"Why isn't your mother coming?"

Kurt swallowed a bit. "She died when I was eight."

"Oh." Blaine blushed. "Sorry."

Kurt shook his head. "It's okay. Ever since then it's just been Dad and I…but he's great."

"Does he…does he know that you're gay?"

Kurt grinned. "Yeah. I told him a couple of months ago."

Blaine swallowed hard. "How was he about it?"

"Great. He was…a little…" Kurt searched for the word. "Uncomfortable? I don't know. He wasn't…resentful, but he wasn't…"

"Like my dad." Blaine muttered flatly, and Kurt nodded slightly. "Don't you hate him?"

"What?"

"He…he told them, didn't he? He took you here and he's the reason why you're here?"

"I used to…I used to hate him. The first couple of days I couldn't…but he was worried. He was worried and he didn't know what to do. How can I hate him for trying to take care of me?"

Blaine sighed and nodded. "I guess."

"I kind of miss him, you know? For so long it was just me and him, but now I'm here, and I haven't seen him in weeks, and he's home by himself…. I'm actually a little worried about him!" Kurt laughed, excited about the visit, not noticing how Blaine was withdrawing into himself the longer he spoke.

"Yeah."

Finally, Kurt noticed. "You okay?"

Blaine just nodded. "Come on. Dinner-time."

^.^

They spent dinner talking about school – it was holidays at the moment, but as soon as September came around, they would get a private tutor for the different age groups – which basically meant Kurt and Blaine in a class on their own.

Blaine liked learning – he liked Italian and English and Music, but he hated Math and the other subjects. Kurt was indifferent – school was just something he had to endure and he didn't particularly enjoy any of the subjects.

After dinner, they walked back to their ward and Blaine passed off a genuine yawn.

"Time for bed?" Kurt asked and Blaine nodded.

"I feel like collapsing early tonight."

"Alright. I'll see you for breakfast tomorrow?"

Blaine nodded, crawling into his bed as Kurt shut the curtain behind him.

^.^

Breakfast was mostly filled with Kurt being nervous. He jittered around, barely eating until Blaine forced him to.

"What's wrong with you?" Blaine laughed.

"I'm worried."

"About what?"

"Everything!" Kurt took a deep breath. "I'll be okay."

When Jessie approached them, Kurt almost squealed.

"He's waiting for you." She said softly, and Kurt took a deep breath, standing up, forgetting about his breakfast.

Blaine grabbed his hand, giving it a firm squeeze and giving him a smile. "He'll still be the same amazing father, okay?"

Kurt nodded, taking another breath before following Jessie. They walked through the halls, and Kurt continued to get even more nervous, the closer they got to the courtyard.

"Excited?" Jessie asked.

"…kind of…"

Jessie grinned. "You'll be fine."

"Are you coming out with us?"

"Nope. I'll leave the door unlocked."

"Can my dad come in and walk around and stuff?"

Jessie nodded. "For a little while. Visiting hours close in three hours."

"Thanks Jessie."

"You're welcome Kurt…have fun."

She disappeared back around into the hallway and Kurt stood in front of the glass doors. The curtains were still drawn – he couldn't see out, and his father couldn't see in. Placing his hands on the door, he pushed it open, letting the rays of light blind him.

He shut his eyes, and suddenly he was being scooped up into Burt's arms.

"Hey kiddo."

Kurt breathed in, finding him exactly the same. He smelled like grease and the crappy two dollar soap that was in his bathroom. He was a little thinner, but he was still stocky and still his dad. Nothing had changed - the way he'd half expected it to.

"Hey dad." Kurt whispered.

Burt pulled back, letting Kurt drop, and searching his son.

"You look good." _You've gained weight._

Kurt bit his lip. "Thanks."

It was awkward.

"So…how is it?"

"What, this place?"

Burt nodded.

"It's…like a hospital."

Burt winced. "I'm sorry."

Kurt shook his head. "Don't be. I'm…I think I was better off here."

Burt managed a nod. "Made any friends?"

Kurt grinned. "Yeah."

Burt's eyes widened. "So…uh…is it…"

"His name is Blaine." Kurt said softly.

"And are you guys…"

"We're friends." Kurt said shortly. "And yes, he's gay…but that doesn't mean anything."

Burt nodded, and Kurt could see the obvious cogs ticking over in his head.

They moved to the bench and chairs, sitting down and sighing.

"So when do you think they'll let you out?"

Kurt shrugged.

"The house is really empty without you." Burt said softly. "I missed you."

Kurt bowed his head. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. It's…mine, a little. But still."

Kurt cleared his throat. "How have you been?"

Burt suddenly looked nervous, and Kurt shot him a worried look.

"I…uh…I met someone."

Kurt felt a pang of jealously. "What? Who?"

"Her name is Carole. Carole Hudson."

The name wasn't familiar, and Kurt bit his lip. "And…are you…"

Burt shrugged. "It's nothing serious. We're…dating…but…"

"Dad…if you're happy, I don't have a problem with it." Kurt forced a smile.

Burt raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"

Kurt nodded. "Fairly sure."

There was another awkward silence.

"So what's Blaine like? Why is he…here?"

"Attempted suicide." Kurt said bluntly. "Twice."

Burt's eyes widened. "What? Why?"

Kurt sighed. "His dad…when Blaine told his father that he was gay…his father beat him up for it…and then he was getting bullied at school….and he couldn't take it anymore."

Burt's jaw almost dropped, frowning in concern. "What…"

Kurt shrugged. "He can't go home, and he'll go into foster care when he gets better." Kurt sighed. "Life just kind of sucks for him."

Burt saw the pain behind Kurt's eyes – how much he cared and how much this was killing him. He swallowed hard, frowning in thought.

"Kurt…"

Kurt looked up at him sadly.

"I…Can I go meet Blaine?"

Kurt grinned. "Yeah….come on!"

Burt followed slowly behind him, thinking hard. He glanced up to peek into wards – finding the kids with sunken, dead eyes – those who had pretty much given up, and those who were wondering why they were there. It was draining – it was sad. Burt regretted ever letting these people take his son away.

Kurt led him to his ward, taking him all the way to the end.

"So this is my little section." Kurt waved at it dismissively, before turning to Blaine's.

The curtain was drawn, but Kurt knew there wasn't a nurse inside. He knocked gently.

"Blaine? You there?"

"Yep."

"Can I come in? My dad wants to meet you."

"Uh…" Blaine paused, panicking. "I guess…"

Kurt pulled back the curtain, grinning at his father before slipping in.

Blaine looked pale and scared, and Kurt raised an eyebrow.

"You okay?"

"Yep." Blaine whispered, reaching over to turn the lamp on.

The sickly yellow beams of light that filled the room really showed off his bruises properly – they gleamed an array of ugly colours that scattered his body. The bandages over his wrist were still white and shiny – they'd been changed earlier this morning.

Burt gave him a once over, sympathy in his eyes.

"Blaine…this is my father, Burt Hummel. Dad…this is Blaine Anderson…my best friend."

Blaine's eyes widened at the title, and grinned.

"Nice to meet you sir…" Blaine said a little timidly, and Burt shot him an easy grin.

"Nice to meet you too, Blaine. Thanks for keeping my boy company."

Blaine grinned, his whole body relaxing.

"It's been a pleasure." Blaine grinned, beaming at Kurt.

"How long are you here for, Blaine?"

"I'm not sure." He sighed heavily. "Treatment decides on us, basically. Once we've done a health check, it's about us."

"So…once you're healthy, you come home?"

"Pretty much." Blaine sighed.

Burt nodded, and his phone beeped. Whipping it out, he sighed.

"I have to get home. I'll be back tomorrow, okay?"

Kurt nodded, standing up and giving his father a huge hug. Blaine stuck out his hand for Burt to shake, but Burt pulled him up into a hug.

Kurt watched fondly as Blaine's entire body went rigid – his face contorting into a wince of pain as he felt every bruise on his body, but it passed and he completely relaxed and hugged back. When they both pulled away, Blaine had watery eyes, and Burt gave him a kind smile.

"Keep safe, Blaine." He grinned, and Blaine nodded, not trusting himself to speak as he got out of bed.

"We'll walk you out?" Kurt offered, glancing at Blaine to make sure he was okay with it.

Burt gave him a sharp look and Kurt edited his sentence.

"We'll walk you as far as we can go?"

Burt grinned at him.

"Sure thing kiddo."


	8. Chapter 8

Blaine was quiet for the rest of the afternoon, refusing Kurt's attempts to get him to talk. He eventually gave up, and they ate dinner in near silence, sitting beside each other at one of the tables, shoulders bumping occasionally.

Back in the ward, Blaine curled up on the end of Kurt's bed, and they read quietly together until Jessie came to shoo Blaine back to his own bed for lights out.

Kurt sighed – he didn't understand what had happened. Blaine was so happy when Burt was there – what changed?

He rolled onto his side, his eyes closing.

^.^

A warm body had crawled into his bed, and Kurt had a brief moment of panic.

"Blaine?" Kurt whispered, rolling onto his back.

Blaine had made his way onto Kurt's pillow, over the blankets, and had pretty much turned the little single mattress into a two person bed.

"Blaine, you okay?"

Blaine didn't say anything – he just faced Kurt and folded his arms across his chest.

Kurt rolled onto his side to face Blaine, pressing his forehead against his.

"What's wrong?"

"I want a better dad." He whispered – so quiet Kurt could barely hear him.

Kurt's eyes widened and he placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder. "Blaine…"

Blaine swallowed hard, his shoulders shaking with the effort it was taking him to keep his sobs quiet.

"I don't want to be like this anymore. I don't want a fucked family. I don't want to be here…I just…I want out."

"No you don't. Please don't say that Blaine. Please. You've got me…and you've got my dad…there's no reason you need to…"

"But it's hard."

"I know." Kurt whispered. "I know it's hard…but…"

"No buts…" Blaine hissed, his hand covering his face as he sobbed into it. "There's no point."

"Blaine…there's always a point."

"But sometimes there isn't."

Kurt let out a little squeak of frustration, and just nuzzled his forehead against Blaine's.

"Go to sleep…I'll wake you up before the nurses come."

Blaine nodded, curling slightly.

Kurt frowned. "You cold?"

"Not really."

"I don't care. Get under the blanket."

"Yes mum." Blaine muttered, sliding under it and brushing against Kurt's body.

They both froze, but neither of them moved nor said anything. Finally, Blaine let out a breath and relaxed, and Kurt in turn did the same.

Despite how relaxed both boys were, neither of them slept that night. They stayed quiet, listening to each other's breathing.

Finally, the first rays of light shined into the room, and Blaine silently moved, uttering an almost silent 'thank you' against Kurt's arm. He closed the curtain and slipped into his own section.

^.^

Breakfast came far too soon for Kurt and Blaine. They were awake at eight, groggily shuffling to the cafeteria to get their food. They returned to their own sections shortly after eating, spending most of that day sleeping. Jessie was slightly concerned, but figured she should wait and see what would happen tomorrow.

"I'm going to sleep." Kurt muttered after dinner – he was still exhausted. "See you tomorrow?"

Blaine nodded sleepily, before disappearing into his section.

^.^

"Blaine!" Kurt grinned, shaking him awake. "Blaine, wake up."

"Don't want to." He mumbled, rolling over.

Kurt insistently prodded him, until he finally sat up.

"What?"

"We're going to the courtyard. With your guitar."

"Why?"

"Because. Now come eat breakfast so we can go."

Blaine grumbled, but managed to pull himself out of bed and follow Kurt to the cafeteria. Kurt was giddy, and it was weirding Blaine out.

"Why are you so happy?"

"Just am. Hurry up and eat."

Blaine laughed, swallowing the last mouthful of food before standing up and grinning.

He was much happier this morning.

"Okay. Lead the way."

Kurt grinned. "We have to find Jessie and get your guitar first." He instructed, and Blaine nodded.

Together, they located the nurse and requested her presence in the courtyard. She quickly agreed – retrieving the guitar and sitting on her chair at the doorway. Kurt and Blaine ventured into the grass, sitting down.

"Why did you want the guitar?"

"Because I made something for you." Kurt grinned nervously.

"What?"

"Just play. Please. The same tune of the song you wrote me."

Blaine raised an eyebrow, adjusting the capo before playing. Kurt let the intro pass, before he opened his mouth and began to sing.

_You pick up the blade, and say it's okay.  
This is the last time it'll be this way.  
You know that you're not to blame.  
Why do you feel ashamed?  
Stop trying to hide away and forget your pain.  
With every minute, of every hour of every day,  
You're getting better, please don't fade away._

Blaine stared at Kurt, his eyes watery, and together they launched into the chorus –

_I look into your eyes – I can see you're unhappy.  
I look into your eyes – I can feel your pain.  
They say we'll be alright…  
They say it's just a phase…  
But you and I know it's deeper._

Blaine finished the song on G, swallowing hard as they let a small silence wash over them.

"Thank you." Blaine whispered. "That's…that's brilliant."

"I want you to get better…so I can get better. I…I care about you a lot, Blaine." Kurt bit his lip. "I don't want you to die on me."

Blaine smiled slightly. "I'll try."

Kurt shook his head. "That's not good enough. You can't die on me. Because I'll die too."

"Kurt…"

"Blaine, you're my best friend."

Blaine fell silent as he realised that it wasn't just because Kurt could have been in love with him, or just because he was gay and they had to stick together. Blaine did love Kurt – but it wasn't real love. It was stupid teenager love – and that's all it was for now.

But they were best friends. And that was really all they needed.

"Okay. I won't."

Kurt smiled. "Good…because we have to finish this song. It hasn't got a bridge yet."

Blaine gave him a small smile.

"That's okay…"

Kurt raised an eyebrow, and Blaine glanced at him.

"We still haven't crossed ours yet."


End file.
